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Culture

22 Ways To Annoy A Glaswegian In Five Words Or Less

By Alice Lorenzato-Lloyd

annoy-glaswegian

Turns out, it’s not that hard to annoy a Glaswegian…

Glasgow may have been voted the friendliest city but as much as we like to welcome people, there are some things that just outright rip our knittin’. From insulting the Glaswegian cuisine (salt and sauce on chips, no thank you) to comparing the city to places that are simply not of the same calibre and are pure pish tend to annoy us. And yes, we know the weather can be rubbish but if it’s taught us anything it’s that us Glaswegians are made of tough stuff and we know how to have a bloomin’ good time regardless. Anyway, knowing this as we do, we set Secret Glasgow readers a little social media challenge: to annoy your average Glaswegian in five words or less. The results were, as always, illuminating and hopefully none of these cause any heavy ragin’.

1. “My great grandpappi was Scotch.”

2. “Why is it called GlesGay?”

3. “Edinburgh is a better city!”

4. “1966”

5. “It’s coming home.”

6. “Ahm fae Clydebank.”

7. “Celtic.”

8. “Salt and sauce tastes better.”

9. “I’m from Fife.”

10. “It’s The Rangers not Rangers.”

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11. “This is a nice part of England…”

12. “It’s not a square sausage.”

13. “That f*ckin accent.”

14. “Are you from Edinburgh?”

15. “Did ye, aye?”

16. “Pizza crunch is sh*t.”

17. “Yer da disnae sell Avon.”

18. “Only 25ml haufs here…”

19. “Lock Lomond.”

20. “It’s a roll and slice!”

21. “It always rains in Glasgow.”

22. “Say that in English please.”